News Briefs and Altar-Cations July 16, 2023

Other than my fantasy of a perfect Saturday night, what do Roller Derby, Vaseline, and Bud Light have in common?  They’re all a part of this week’s News Briefs.

It’s an AD AD AD AD world for this week’s News Briefs.

First, there’s something about a politician that makes a point with a sense of humor that we can’t get enough of.   And Democratic candidate for Missouri

Crystal Quade is going all out.   

Quade is currently the Missouri House Minority Leader and is seeking the higher office because she says, that her state doesn’t need more of the same.

Here’s her campaign video:

I wouldn’t stand in her way!

These days it’s sometimes difficult to understand what an ad or commercial is really trying to convey.

Take the recent Twitter ad posted by Vaseline:

First off, EWWWWWW!

Secondly, what the hell is Slugging? And why would I be covered in a pearly white glaze after doing it?

Our crack research team here at Amber Live discovered that slogging is a skincare practice wherein you trap moisture with an occlusive moisturizer such as Vaseline.

OK, but do you think Vaseline could’ve come up with a more… ah hem… appropriate visual?

Again…

Speaking of marketing campaigns that backfired, remember when Bud Light teamed up with transgender TikTok star Dylan Mulvaney?

Immediately the right wing went nuts and started a boycott, partly encouraged by overrated has been Kid Rock…

Yeah, you really showed them… buying all that beer from them and not drinking it.  Idiot.

Since then, Bud Light is no longer the number one beer sold in the United States.  And many celebrities are afraid to be associated with it.

But not two-time Super Bowl champ, Saturday Night Live host, Travis Kelce.

Oh, my.

Kelce is featured in a 15-second spot, titled “Grunts,” that pokes fun at the audible noises that men make when they grab a cold one and plop down on their favorite chair. Kelce is front and center, dishing out head nods and a nice “yeahhh” at the end of the commercial.

Let’s take a look. 

As you saw Travis didn’t partake of the beverage himself - NFL rules prohibit players from actually drinking beer in ads.

But, you gotta admit, after all the backlash and boycotts, it took balls to do this.

And, by the way, Kid Rock owns a bar in Nashville called Kid Rock’s Big Ass Honky Tonk & Rock ‘n’ Roll Steakhouse.  Guess what beer they have on tap… yep, Bud Light.

Idiot.

And that’s this week’s news briefs.

As many cities and states are passing laws against drag queens by accusing them of child molesters and groomers, AltarCations points out that if they really want to go where these monsters preside, they need to look toward the religious community – not the gays.  Case in point…

David DeBerge

spent 20 years in the Wisconsin Army National guard as a chaplain. DeBerg is the chaplain for the local American Legion.  He also preaches the gospel to offenders who are incarcerated.

And he’ll be able to do that for the rest of his life because last month he was charged with repeated sexual assault of a child and another sexual assault-related felony. The first count carries a maximum sentence of 60 years and the second, 40 years.

DeBerge is accused of molesting a relative from the time she was in third grade, in 2012 until the end of 8th grade.

And then there’s

Reverend Michael C. Willis of the Rejoice Lutheran Church in Illinois.

Last month Willis was charged with two counts of child pornography for exhibiting, reproducing, and disseminating film, video and photos; as well as two other similar charges.

Daniel Balizan

who was removed from a Santa Fe parish a year ago amid a misconduct investigation was arrested last month on federal charges accusing him of enticement of a minor with the intent to engage in sexual activity.

He allegedly used text messages to coerce and entice a minor to engage in sexual activity with him.

A Tennessee man filed a civil lawsuit in October accusing the priest of sexually assaulting him at a local parish a decade ago, when he was 15. 

When will legislatures start looking where the real damage is being done and take seriously their claim to “protect the children.”

That’s this week’s Altarcations.